


My Immortal: The Sequel

by Cleggymeiser



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles, My Immortal
Genre: My Immortal - Freeform, You're Welcome, oh yes this masterpiece, the sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-05-17 05:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 12,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5856082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleggymeiser/pseuds/Cleggymeiser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The long-awaited sequel to the internet phenomenon known as "My Immortal". All of your favourite characters are back and on a completely new adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to the Black Parade

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/172321) by Tara Gilesbie. 



> Just in case anyone has read this on Fanfiction.com already, I just want to clarify that this isn't stolen. I have just moved this story from there to here because I'm on AO3 more often and it's easier to use. Thank you.

AN: fangz 2 Raven 4 helpin me to rite the sekual to my amazin storyyy :D you rok girl! MCR rox 2!

Hi my name iz Enoby Drakeness Dimentia Raven Way, im a goff and ive just bin on a adventur and morty mcfli had helpd me get bak to da futur in his blak tim machine, then we hadd sexxx ;D and now its tuesday..

Im in dark majic clas next 2 my bf Drako. we r da sexiest cuple in da room, im wearin a blak corset wit red lace at tha top and the hem and red fishnets on ma legs and arms so they mach and that make me look supa sexxy and 2 mak me look EVAN sexxir im wearing a very short minskrit and im wearing wite foondation wit blak lipstick and black eysado wit TONZ of blak i liner. Dracko is waerin a gud shatlette t shirt and skiny jeens wit a belt wit haz lodes of chains and spiks on it. he iz also wearin lods of blak eyelinr lik me, hot dam

Snap waz doin tha class. i was so pised dat he didnt get fured or somethin 4 trin to kill me or 4 rappin Draco but at leest dat bich britney is ded. Snop was talkin about eivl mogics tho so i dint mind, i luv 2 curse peple an mak bad fings hapen 2 them (jus lik tha fuckin posrs and prepzz who flam on ma story!111)

Vampire Dabolo and Bloody Mary and Willow were here to, Vumpir had suk a hardon 4 me but he new i waz takn bi Drake.

sudenly!1 Dumbledoo an hhargid ran in tha clasrom!1! they lookd supr sacred!1

"wat tha fuk is goin on?" askd in ma sexxy voise wich made Draco blush, but not stopid posr blush, like sexy goffik blush which waz blak and sexy

"britney haz cum bak 2 life!" sed dimblydor "and she iz tryin to expel the drak forses from Hogwarst!1!"

we den all ran outside n saw that fukin preppy poser britnry, she waz a gost and waz makin magiks wif her wand

"fuk of Brittany u fukin posr bitch!11" i skreemd, but she jus smild wif her stupod prepy pink lipstick, she was also waering a wite dress wit pink flowrs on it. she loked like a fukin dumass i hat her so much

"lolz im goin to send u all 2 anothr dimention so that the skool iz free of stoopiod goffs lik u!1" she sad wih her girly prepy voice

she then did sum mor magics and be4 we cud stop her she had sent us all thru a vorteks!111 D:


	2. Where Would We Be Now

AN: herez tha next chapter to ma story! fangz Raven for spell chekin ma last 1 u mak ma riting lok very profesional

we wernt in da vorsex 4 long n we landed on tha grass outside...hogwurst? (AN: woohh mindfuk)

"what tha fuk is goin on?" sed vampire "y r we bak here?"

i laffed "hahahs that fukin poser bich cant evn do her shity wite majic rite!" and we al laffed except snip who dint becoz hes an asshole

"we beter get bak to hogwartz, im getin hungry, do u want to go feed of sum huflepoffs wif me?" Darko asked depresingly n sexilly

"hell yes" i sed coz i luv to drnk the blud of those prepy hufflepufs (AN: the hufelpufs are all prepz just like tha grifindores, and da ravenclawz dont fukin exist anymor so shut up preppz mi story is consistant wif tha reel bookz i jus changd it becoz its FANFICTION duhhh!11!)

we all went bak 2 hogswat n we coldnt beleive our eyes! it waz so much cleener than befor! and dat fukin Britny wasnt ther!

"WAT THA FUKIN FUK HAS HAPENDED 2 MY FUKIN SCHOL!11!" Dumbldor sed becoz he had anotha hedache fangz to Britnies fukin stopid prepy spel n it mad him very angry 2 c the skool bein this cleen becoz hes a fukin posr weerdo

"Hello there, friends!" caled... a prepy verson ov... Vampir? n next 2 him woz... Dumblydore? in a tweed suit?

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles!" sed tha tweed dimbldor. we didnt say anyfin, we wer just in shok, ten tha perp Vampire went up 2 reel Vumpir

"Welcome friend! May I say, you quite look like me! Well, except for the Red streaks in your hair and all of that eyeliner! Anyway, my name's Harry Potter, what's yours?" he sed holdin out his hand 4 him 2 shak but he dint becoz y wood he shak tha hand of such a prep losr

"Suk my dick you twat" he sed to Harry wich made tweed dumbldor n Hary shokd n Harry started 2 cry

"So r we not in tha reel Hogwurts?" sed Willow 2 me

"i dont fink so,, stoopid britney n her stupid spel" i replid

"2 rite babe" she agread

"Please my children! Calm down, we are in the presence of God! We can offer you beds in the dormitory for tonight and for as long as you need them." he sed wif his stopid whispurry voise

"yeah yeah watevr" i sed as we all went 2 the dorms. dis place may be wierd but we stil need a place 2 stay until we can undoo teh spel...


	3. Teenagers

AN: OMFGGGG PREPPZZZ!11! STAHP FLAMIN MA STORRRUUU! N YES DUMBLDORE HAD ANOHER HEDACHE111! FFS!

i wok up in tha grills dorm wich pised me of cos i wantd 2 slep wit Drake so we cold u kno wat (AN: lulz 50 shads of gray eat your hart out!) but ther was a disastar! teh onli goffik cloths i had wer tha 1s i wor yestuday n evrytin els was stupid prepy skool unifroms so i had to wer tha same thin wich was a blake corset wif red lace at teh top and the hem and red fishnets on my legs and arms and a minskit and wite fundation wit blak lipstick and black eyshadw wit blak eye liner.

"uuuh baabe, dis fukin suks! do u fink they haf a hot topic in whateva dimenson dis is?" Willow askd

"yah totes i so fukin need to get ma fashon on, its a fukin crim to waer tha same clothes everyday!" sed B'loody Marie as she applid mor eyelinr to her face

"we shold go find 1 after brekfest" i sugested ten sudenly we herd a grone from tha otter side of tha room, it waz from anoter gril slepping ther, som oter prep in dis damn prepfest of a skol. teh kidz her r like fukin grifindores exept prepier

"Good Morning Roomies! What a lovely and pleasant day God has given us! How are you feeling after your first sleep here?" she sed strechin n loking at us wit her stopid inosent expreson, she was a prepy verson of B'loody Maru wich mad her feel sik. all 3 of us put our midle fingerz up at her n she gaspd in shok (AN: hahhaahaha wat a stopid fukin prepppp!11! amirite?)

l8r we went 2 teh grate hall were brekfast was bein surved,, tweed Dumbelldor got on hiz nees and prayd to god n bakon sosages n tost and stuff appered on tha tables

"DAT WAZ THA MOST WEENIE FING IV EVA SEEN!" i shooted oot and all tha gang laffed exept snap becoz lik i sed hes an asshole

"My child, God created you and loves you. Don't insult him, thank him." he sed again

"fuk off!1" i sed as i threw som bakon at him but i missd and hit prepy Diabolo wit it and he crid and went 2 c his frend Hairy.

"That was not a very kind thing to do!" Hary sed as he oferd his frend som oatmeal 2 cry in becoz dats lik his fetish or somthin

"i dont gif a fuk!" i sed

"yeh non of us give a fuk, your all prepy losers" Drako sed reelly hotly so i frenched him, i did it in such a passive manner (AN: holy shiit bi guyz who french passively r soooooo hottt!1!)

"Oh my! You cannot do that in the Great Hall! Stop immediately!" sed tha prepy McGoogle but we bof put our midle fingerz up at her.. meenwile Ron waz just standin ther bawlin in his otmeal his tears wer makin tha sogy mixtur evan sogier

i den stopd frenchin Drako to summon ma ladys "cum on ladys lets blow dis joint were goin cloths shopin"...(AN: hell yea next episods gon be da bom)


	4. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

AN: hai ravennnn! soz i made dis 1 without u, hopefuly u stil lik it tho! i mad it finkin of u! n fuk u prepz u cant ruin ma storuuu! lik mcr sed: do or die, youll neva mak me, becoz did world wil neva tak my hart, go n try, youll neva brake me, SO FUK U PREPZZZZZ!11!1!

so Enoby Willow n Bloody Mary went 2 Hogsmede 2 look 4 a hot topic, dey wer so exited 2 find sum goffik clothes to wear. but 2 there horor, they diskoverd dat there were no goffik shopz in hogmsede!

"wtf!1!?" sed Enoby "all deez shopz r sooo prepy!112" nd she waz rite. there wer shopz wit sold frily flowary drssses, b-i-b-b-l-e-s (i m not spelin dat) n p-r-e-p music (i m not spelin dat eitha) lik britney spurs , da bakstret boiz , kely clukson n 1 erection. it mad us fell sik...

"dis is a catastrepoy! wat r we gona doo!" sed Wollow in a deprzzzd voise, she relly liks goff sloths n fashism.

"hay grilz! lok wat i foond! sed B'loody Mary pontin 2 a drak aly. dis mad us vrey hapy cuz we luv darkness n stuf "dere r peple wit goffik clothin down ther, we shud c if dere is a place dat selz goffik cloths!" we agred cuz it waz a very good idea and went down tha ally. da peple dere wer smokking n takin drugz n dinkin blud n bein deprezed n lisenin 2 gc n mcr,, it waz paradis. we wer so happy wen we saw a goffik musik shop n a suntanist lair wich waz holdin a seance n den... a hot topik!1 we wer so exited!1111!

"omfg! yasss! i sed as we went in2 teh hot topic

evonesense waz playin, tha song waz my immortal (da song dis story iz named afta!) n we ran arond tha shop, takin tons of stuf 2 tha dresin roms, we spent horus tryin cloths and mak up on be4 we went 2 tha chek out 2 pay

we desided 2 share our new stuf becoz dats wat goff sisterz do, we had bort red n blck fishnets dat go on arms n legs 2 sum neklasses n rings n braselets wich had satanist symbolz on dem, day came in blak n gold (but not wite gold becoz wite gold iz PREPPY AS FUK!) n we got LODS of corsets wich were blak n red n dark gray (N BI DRAK GRAY I MEEN BLACK ;D) they also had lots of lacy stuff on tem wich i fort wold mak me lok sexah for Droko n we got lods of skritz wit lods of lace wich cam in red n blak 2, dey all had diferant stiles 2 so wed always lok uniqe (but stil lik sexah goff sistahz!11!) dem 4 mak up we got TONZ N TONZ of wite foundaton 2 mak r skin lok relly pail, TONZ of blak eyelinr 2 becoz its literaly a crim 2 not wer blak eyelinr if u a goff (if u sa goff but dont wer blak eyelinr de posrrrr!) n red n blak lipstik n red blak n gray eyeshadow

the casheir fort we loked so sexah wit r new goffik cloths dat we deserved to haf dem 4 free!1111! (howw amazin iz dat?)wich mad us so happy but we dint screm n jump arond lik prepz we jus stayd wit r depreszed expresons but he stil new dat it made us happy. afta leevin, we went 2 bi (lolz coz bi guyz r HOT AS FUUKKK!) sum goffik musik dem we went bak 2 Hugwurst.


	5. Headfirst for Halos

AN: fukkkk uuuu u stpid prepz 4 flamin on ma storyyy!11! i wont mak anoher unil i get 2 god revois OK!1 n fangz raven 4 teh help!

wen we got bak 2 prepy howgarst we went 2 c da boiz, dey gasped wen dey saw r amazin new cloths, Drako waz practikaly beggin 2 haf sex wit me.

"hey girlz, can we borro som of ur blak lipstik n eyelinr n foundation?" Vampire asked

"yah, sure" i said "just dont gif any 2 these stupid prepy posrs, ok?" i sed as i gave SUM GOFfic makeup 2 da boiz

"n,,,,, SRUPRIZEEEEEE!11!" yeled Willow as she opend a bag n in it waz...HOLY SHOT MOAR GOFFIK CLOTHS! n dey wer 4 da boiz!

"HOLY SATIN WOW!" sed Drackl as all da boiz went 2 look at dere new clothes. tha bag contaned lotz of band tshits lik Marylin Manson, GC, MCR, Evenescense and spesial tshirtz wich wer of...(u beta b reddy 4 dis!) BLOODY GOFFIK ROSE 666!

"Hlly shit u got tshreks ov our band!111!1!1!1!?111!" i shreked, dey wer amazon, dey had da name of da band on dem: BLODY GOFFIK ROZE 666 bcs dats tha name of da band (and if u dont lik dat nam den get da fuk out of her!) and dere waz a pic of a rose on it wich had blood on it (duuh) "DIS IS AMAZINNNN!" i shreked but den r exitment waz stped bi (lol geddit coz bi guyz r sooooo hot) Tweed Dumbledore

"Now, my dear children, class is in session now! Hurry along before you're too late." he sed in his stoopid prepp voice, we put r middle fingerz up at him n he gasped but we diceded 2 go 2 class anyway coz Snap waz pervin at us in da corener

we entered da classrom n... dere waz no mogic! no stantantic rituels! no goffz! dey wer reedin pages form da... (omfg dis is gona be so hard to rite witout faintin) b-i-b-b-l-e nd therr wer cristina stuf everwher! we all hised bcs wer vampires (bi da way, everonez a vampire now dose who wernt wer bitten bi me n dey r now vampires n stuff becoz i SED SO!)

"HOLLY FUKIN SHIT WAT IZ DIS?" i exclammed n da teecher who waz lik a prepy verson of Mcgoogle shushed us

"My children, we do not speak in such foul language when we are in the presence of God! Please, come prey with us and apologise for your wrong-doings." she said pointin 2 sum empty seets in da clasroom. dey had brite yello cushons on dem and wer all cleen n shit. also da curtans wer open so lots of lite waz comin in2 da room wich mad tha cushons look even briter, it waz da most grossest thing we had eva seen

"bitch wer not gonna prey! wer stanists!11 we only pray to satsan!" i sed bak n prepy mcgoggle loked relly sad but i dont gif a fuk, my life is eternal sadnes anyway y do i care about dat prepy bich.

"cum on!" i sed "lets go bak 2 da dorms."


	6. Like It's Her Birthday

AN: fangz Raven 4 da help wit my spellin!11 k so u asked 4 it! her iz da next chapta of my imortal: da sequal! plz enjoy n az u can c im not gonna say anyfin 2 da FUUKIN Prepz becoz dey dont deserve da attenton n i want 2 dedicat dis storu 2 da reel goffz! u ROKKK!11

so we all went bak 2 da dorms n...Droka took me in2 a room seprat form teh othaz,, but evan tho i waz finaly wit mi sexxxay goff bf i was disgustd coz tha rom was pink n prepy wit flowerz n pix of catz n bunyz evrywhere

"WAT DA BLOODY FUCK?!11! i shooted 2 him (geddit bloody coz im goffik but also coz im inglish n stuff)

"wait Ebojy!" he insistid as he tok oot hiz mogic wand and wavved it aboot (haha no not DAT magik wand you perv) lotz of magik cam oot of it coz its a mogic wand n mogik cums oot of mojok wandz u domass,, all of a suden... all of da pink stuiff torned blak n red, dere was goffik band postas on da walls, da rom becam vry drak n insted of da prepy ugly pink bed dere was...a romantik coffin wit a goffik hart engravved on da wood n red linin in side,, i gosped n torned 2 Drunko n he woz holdin... a bookay ov blak lilys

"holy shit u got me lilys coz dere da flowa of-"

"deff" we bof sed 2getha n i gosped agen,,

den we boff got in da coffin n frenched passively, he tok of his shit n i saw his sexpak (omifukin stantan dis is gon get NSWF so if u r yunga dan 13 den dis is not saf 4 u, dis ritin iz gonna b moar explisit dan 60 shads of gary dont say i dint warn u!1111111111))

we tok of all of r cloves as we frenhced passively n hiz sexyness gav me a lady erection wich mad him happy coz he gets a beta man ercetion wen he sees lady erectios den becoz we wer so hot,, he put his thingie in my thingie and da sexxx happened!

"ermigerd Druko!" i scremmed "Datko Draok!" i sed his nam lods of timz coz datz wat u do wen da orgasim hapens n datz wat waz hapenin lol

my orgosm waz so gud, it waz lik da feelin verson of a song writen bi MCR & GC both 2getha n dat song wold b so gud n i relly want 2 her it but wer not talkin aboot dat now bocoz enory iz havvin da bessssst orgome,, he ha he likd it bocoz evry 1 liks orgames,, den we fel aslep 2getha, romantikally

AN: tell me wat u fink! iv ben praktisin sexxx senes a lot n i fink im gettin beta, leeve gud revoiwsss!11111


	7. The Only Hope for Me Is You

AN: faaaaangz Ravan 4 da hellpz! im soooo glad u fond dat last 1 so sexxxay! i dod 2 lulz ;D also sorry 4 da brake i woz busy on vocation in Inglund! lulz dem brutish peepz r so dam sexxay, lolz just lik Drako! anywayz bak 2 da storuuuu!

"Oh my goodness!" sed a prepy voise in da rom, it woz preppy MacGoogle n she waz lik red in da face n stuff, "Both of you! Get dressed and go to the Reverend's office immediately!"

so me n Drako got up (ven tho she was bein a total bich lik jeez get a fukin room we wer just trin 2 haf sexx in somones elses rom lik what tha fuk bich) den we got dresed in r sexay ogffik clothes n went oot da room, but on da way oot we still put r midle fingerz up at her coz shes a bihc, she fointed...

so we went 2 Referee Dumbelldoos offise n went inside becoz wen u want 2 get in2 a rom you have 2 get insid it, dats how it works, here iz a detaled explonution:

\- frist u find a rom u want 2 go in

\- den u c if a rom has a door

-if it doesnt den dat rom is a fukin prep n u shold leev it alone, but if it doz den find da door n stand in front of it

\- tha door will haf a handel, or a doornob, lowa da handel or torn da dorr nob

\- den push da door, if it doz not open den poll it

\- if it stil doz not opan den it iz loked n if u dont haf da kee den ur fuked

anywayz ebony n drakko wer abel 2 get in2 da rom, Referee Tweed Dumblyores office n he waz pissed (not drunk pissed angry pissed n DEFINOTLY not urine pissed) his ofice was filled wit croses n jesuses n jeussus on crossess n crooses witoot jesusus but dats jus tha sameas croses

"My children, a little birdie told me that you've broken a little rule..." he sed wif his stopid smil still on his fake

"Wat rule? we dont kno da rules her! der not ritten down or anyfin!" i sed as i began 2 cri teers of blood

"Yes, they are." he sed "In this book." nd he held up a ...b-i-b-e-l ! (holy fukin shiiit scarier dan amnesia am i rite?))))) we hissed at da site of da book as he red a bit of it::

" Ephesians 5:5: For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God."

"pfffftttt! wat a bunch of tea crap Druko sed (geddit coz hes british so he liks tea lolz)

"Draco, that is not very respectful, but I digress. This is not the real reason why I called you two here." he sed

"well wat is it?" i sed

"I have called you here because I need your help, the school is being attacked by a pure evil that we know very little of, some say it's from your dimension. All we know is, it's called-"

AN: ooooooohhhh!11111!111 CLUFFHONGER!11!


	8. Fucking Mineral Water

AN: ermyfurkingerd dat cluffhonger waz soooooo teeeeeense! I bet ur so exited 4 da next bit, well fuk u heres an educctonal brake form da storu! i presnet 2 u: a very interustin essay on minaral warta (n i did ma best spellin n eveythin) (jk i jus got Raven 2 rite it for me whil i red it oot 2 her lulz)

Mineral Water: The True Beauty and Grace of Life

So, mineral water is water that has minerals (duh), like ions and shit. It can also have like gases in it which makes it sparkling water (or "effervescent" as the smarty-pants scientists like to call it).

Like, a long time ago, mineral water was used and consumed at the source at places like spas, baths or wells. But we don't do that anymore because it's fucking weird. Like seriously, ever heard of a person going to the mountains to bathe in a mineral water source in our time? They would be such a loser prep.

But today, we just bottle that shit for people to drink. I mean, who the fuck's going to travel to god-knows-where just for some lame mineral water? Only a stupid prep would do that to get attention and look cool, fucking preps. And as of now, there are 3,000 brands of mineral water available worldwide, like, holy shit. That's a lot of different brands just for water. Jeez, what loser preps, making different brands for the same thing... Like, what the fuck?

Wikipedia says that in England, "effervescent" water is referred to as "Vichy" water, which is complete bullshit, the English refer to it as sparkling water. Like fuck you Wikipedia, I trusted you. It's official, Wikipedia is a complete poser, I'm only going to use reliable sources (geddit 'cause we're talking about water?) like Ask Jeeves for my researches now.

So, speaking of water sources, here are some examples of famous ones:

\- Vichy, France

\- Spa, Belgium

\- Bath, England

So, basically you can have soft and hard water too. Before I thought it was like the difference between ice and liquid water, but it isn't. Like, hard water is just water with a shit-ton of calcium and magnesium ions in it and stuff.

The EU says that mineral water is water bottled at the source with no treatment (or maybe just a little). They allow removal of iron, manganese, sulfar and arsenic, 'cause that shit can fuck you up (also it tastes gross, like, who the fuck wants iron water? blerk!). Also they only allow additions of carbon dioxyde to make it sparkling (and NOT Vichying Wikipedia, you poser asshole!).

AN: faaaangz for reedin! gif feedbak pleeze! storu cotinus in da next chapta!1


	9. Sudoku Bitches

AN: ooooooohhhhh bak 2 da stooOOORUUUUUUYYY!11111111 omfg wasnt ma essay on wata soooo gud! did u lik it? tel me in da revois! now bak 2 da awsom storuuuuuuu!11111111111111111

HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHHA JK HERS ANOTER ESSAY, I GUT RAVEN 2 HALP ME AGEN LOLZ ENJOY11111111111111

Sudoku: The Game of Gods

All right, let's get this piece of shit essay started. Sudoku is a logic-based, combinatorial (whatever the fuck that means), number-placement puzzle for old people and nerds, also people who have long commutes to work or whatever on a train or some shit. But not in a car, don't do sudoku in a car, you dumbass.

So, to play it, you've got to fill a big fucking square which has nine other squares in it, and in each of those nine squares are another nine sqaures (you get why this game is for squares now?). So, sudoku is literally square-ception, I'd cue the inception noise right now but that would make me look like a fucking poser so that shit's not gonna happen *absence of inception noise*. Also, here's the catch, each row, square and column must contain the numbers 1 to 9, like, no repeats or anything. It's complete bullshit (send in the reviews how much you think sudoku is a preppy loser game for preppy nerds who like Britney Spears and stuff!)

I now have literally nothing else to say about sudoku other than the fact that it sucks. Have a nice day.

AN: ok da storu will be bak next tim i promis!1111111111111111111 so bild up hype till den!

HYYYYYYYPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!11111111111111111111111111


	10. The Motivation Proclamation

AN: lulz i haf 2 tel da troof now,, i made all dem assayz 2 bild tenson n mak suspens but i fink i can continu da storu now lolz plz enjoy n gif god revois n fuk u prepz 4 nut likin ma esayz dey wer so gud n i put a lot of efort in2 dem lulz so FUKKKK UUUUUU!1111111

*prevoisly on ma imortal da sekual*

Enoby, Drako, Willow, Vumpire, Blody Maru, Dabolo, Snap, Dumblydor, nd Hardrid wer sent thru a vortekx of wite mogik bi (geddit coz bi guiz r so hot!) Britny n den dey wer at hogwurst skull (geddit coz im goffik) of prare n muricules wit lotz of prepz n stuff n dey wer christinaz 2 wich is fukin lame so dey went 2 buy goffik cloths den dey went 2 class but left bocoz der wer christina stuff also be4 der was brekfast n dey got in a fite coz Ref. Dimbledoo iz soooooo preppy n enopy thru bakon at prepy Dabolo wich mad him cri in da oatmel n den TaEbory nd Drako had sexxxxxxxxxx n den Twed Dumblydor made dem cum in his orifice 2 tell dem sumfin n dis is dat somfin...

"All we know is it's called... The Prep Gang!" he sed intensly

"HOLLY SHIT DA PREP GANG? DAT SONDS SOOOO SHITY!" sed Enoby, she waz like so fukin sacred rite now, da prep gang? hollllllllllllluuuuuuu shittiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

"Enoby! wat r we gonna do!" Drako whaled as he bagan 2 cri blood red tearz from hiz blod red eyez

"i dunno! we wer bunished her bi (luuulz bi guiz!) da worldz stopidist prep n now oter prepz want 2 hurt us evan in dis shitty dimenson! why r dey doin dis? wat did we eva do 2 dem?" i crid blod 2 n we held eachoter cryin,, tweed dumbledor jus wached as we cried 2getha n signed

"Fear not, my children! For you are the one's of the prophecy!"

"wat profesy? ur jus pullin shit oot ur ass now!" enoby torted as teers fell down her cheeks, makin goffik red lines don her face wich mad her lok so sexah n goffik

"No, I am not! See, when the Bible-"

"hisssssss!" dey both hissd becoz dere vumpires n vumpires dont lik bibbles

he signed,, "Fine, when the B-I-B-L-E was first written, they put a prophecy at the end which was predicted by Jesus's-"

"hisssssssss!" dey hissd agen

"Okay okay! Jesus Christ these teens are insane..." he sed unda his breth "They put a prophecy at the end which was predicted by J-E-S-U-S's BFF, Socrates. The prophecy states that a group of mall-goth teenagers from a hellish universe created by a strange teenage girl with very poor spelling skills will not only save the universe created by a Christian mother who butchered a well-loved and cherished story but the Canon Universe."

"wat?" they sed


	11. Girls & Boys

AN: oooooohhh!1111 da storu iz gettin so intens! leave god revoiws cos im trin 2 upd8 dis regulalery durin da summa! or az long az it taks 2 finnish or wateva or maybe nut coz im very bizy bein a goff n stuff anywayz,, da stORUUUU!111111111

"wat?" dey sed "wat da fuk iz da cannon universe?"

"The Canon Universe is the universe of the creators. The creators have created countless other universes which are similar to their own or completely different. They were the creators of our respective universes too. The Prep Gang want to not only destroy our school, but our universe, and then, the Canon Universe! If the Canon Universe is destroyed, then we will all cease to exist."

"holy shit dat sonds bad..." sed Drako sarkastically

"yah, itz soooo fake!" enoby shooted, "we wold no if dat shit waz in da b-i-b-e-l, lik wer nut stoopid11111"

"yeh r u callin ma gf stupid? coz ill punch ur face if u r!" sed Drucko all defensif n hottttt

"No, my children. I don't think you are stupid at all! See, the prophecy was taken out of the Bible during the final edit. In fact, the final edit changed everything in the Bible. Did you know that God doesn't hate people of the LGBT community? And that he thinks women are equal to men? And there's so much other stuff which was just changed!"

"dude we dont gif a shit aboot da b-u-b-l-e, jus tell us how we can kill deez dam perps!" eboby interuptd

"Hang on, I'm getting to it. Do you know who did the final edit of the Bible? It was an evil spirit, who resides very high up on the prep-ladder. The leader of the leader of the Prep Gang! And that is your second mission. Not only do you have to save the universes, but you have to kill the evil spirit who changed the Bible and diffuse the real pre-edit version!"

"wat, y tha fuk wold we do dat?" sed Druko

"yeh, we r stanists! y wold we help da cristinas?" enoby retartd bak

"Well, Ebony, the post-edit version is against homosexuality, therefore thinks bi-guys aren't hot. Do you really want to live in a world where such a text exists?"

she den fort long nd hard... all dose poor bi guize... deiscimminatoried aganst...

"alrite cum on Drakko!" she anonced

"wat? were?" he sed, all confussed n shit

"were gon sav dem sexxay hott bi guize! evan if it mens colabortoring wit da cristinas! lets get da otters!"


	12. Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

AN: OMG r u exitedddddDDDD?!1111111111111111111111 lulz da man plot of da astoru iz gettin happenin n im so exited rnt uuuuu? ok letz do dis shit!

enoby n drako rced don da hallz 2 find da otters,, eventally day made it 2 da dormz nd (usin ma verry halpful instructons from chap 7) dey oppand da door n fond blody maru, dablolo, vumpire n willow... wit herminie, ron n harry?

"wat da fuk r u doin wit deez prep lozerz?" enoby sed

"i dont fukin kno! dey jus cam in tellin us aboot a plan 2 get da real b-i-b-b-o-l bak, n tak don da dude who fuked it up" sed vumpire

"yeh, itz a fukin stupid plan, lik wer actualy gon halp dem" sed blody maru

"yeh!" sed willow den tornd 2 da prepz, "uzendayo lsers!111"

"no guize! itz a god plan!" enoby sed n da goffz n cristinas loked at her in shok

"wat da fuk enoby!1 prep now!" sed vumpire

"holy shit nut u enoby! i fort u were a tru goff!" sed willow cryin teerz of blod

"no! lisen! the verson of da b-b-o-l now is homophone! we haf 2 do dis 2 sav da bi guiyz!" enoby shooted, cryin teersz of blod 2 coz she waz upset dat her own frends wold say somthin so meen as telin her sehz nut goffik

"omfg..." sed blody maru, " dat maks total bloody teabag likin sense! (geddit coz shez brottish!) guiz we haf 2 save da bi guiz! dey r 2 hot 2 be lost!"

"yeh totes, lik bi guize r so hottt! we cant loss dem!" willow shooted "cum on wer goin 2 sav da bi guize!"

den dumblydore, snap n hardrid brust in2 da rom! "hay!" hardrid sed "ewe want 2 sav da bi guiyz 2!"

"Wow! This is amazing!" sed ron

"Yes! It is! We are so glad to have so many people on this mission. Quick! We have to get downstairs so the Reverend can give us instructions on how to find the Prep Gang!" sed harry

"Yay!" the 3 cristinas shooted in unisun as dey went oot da door, da goffz fellt sik havin 2 floo dem but whuteva, it waz worf it 2 sav da bi guiyz

"yeh n snap stya her, ur a pervy rappist! fuk of!" enoby sed

"lok, i want 2 sav da bi guyz coz i fink dere hot 2 ok!" he sed

"whuteva, but wen we cpmlete da mison, ur goin 2 fuk of 5eva!" she sed all confodent n secxy, lulz it gaf drako a bonner lol


	13. Thank You for the Venom

AN: alrite flamerz! STUP FAMIN U FUKIN PREPZZZZ!1! MA STORU IZ DA BEST STORU IN DA WORLD N ITZ GETTIN REAL GUD!11! also fangz Raven 4 da help agen lul U ROK BABE! unlike dose stUPID PREPZ WHO FLAM ON MA SR+TORUUUUUUU!111111111

so teh goffz (n snap n dumblydore coz dey r pserz nut goffz) n da cristinaz went ootside n fond ref dumblydore watin 4 dem

"So, are you all ready for the mission?" he sed

"Oh boy we are!" sed harry "We are honored to be part of a mission which will save the true Christianity!"

"yeh, i jus wanna c guyz screw eachotter" sed enoby

"Umm... Alright... Anyway, here are your instructions: First you must find the portal which is 5km north of the forbidden forest. Then once you enter the portal, it will lead to the Canon Universe, in front of a house with a black door. Enter this house, but don't worry, the man living there will be expecting you and can help you find the Prep Gang." he expalned "Any questions?"

"yeh, iz dis guy a prep?" axed enoby

"I have no idea what a prep is, any more questions?" he assked,, evryone stayd silant so dere wer no mor questons obviosly, "Ok, now here are some tents, food, drink and extra clothes to last you the treck through the forest. I even got some... black clothes and weird make-up for you alternate universe children."

"omfg... tweed dumblydore, maybe ur nut so prepy after all..." sed enoby, cryin blood teerz of goffik joy

"nah hez still a cristina n waers tweed tho..." sed blody maru

"oh yeh,, sory dude, ur still a prepp" enoby sed, but ref dumblydore just loked confussed coz he dosnt no wat a prep iz coz hez a bit absent upstares if u get wat i meen

"Well, Godspeed! And good luck on your quest!" he sed as he wavved us godbi (lulz bi guize r sooOOOO HOTTTTTTT!1111111

"Goodbye, Reverend Dumbledore! We will do our very best to succeed in the name of the Lord!" sed ron

"Goodbye Daddy!" sed herminie as she huged da ref

"yeh yeh goobiz r 4 psers, cum on letz go!" enoby sed as she led dem all thru da... forbideen forest!111


	14. Famous Last Words

AN: omFG1111 RAVEN U FUKIN BITCH11111 GIF ME BAK MY MOTERFUKIN AMY LEE POSTER OR I WILL FUKIN RITE U OOT DA STORU AGEN11111 DO U WANT DAT? WELL FUKIN GIF IT BAKKKKKKK1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 n sory guize im nut gonna haf raven help me 4 dis chapta (fukIN BITCH!111) i dont ned her anyway

so enoby led teh otters thru da forbidenn forrest coz shez amazin an beutiful n nut prepy (unlik wILLOW!111) it waz getin drak,, wich mad da goffz hapy (exept willow coz NOW DAT SHE IS A PREP SHE IS AFARD OF DA DRAK) da cristinaz wer also a frad so day stoped 2 set up camp,, dabolo wnet 2 talk wit dat bich poser willow

"hay willow, ur a fukin posr now so we cant date,, nd tara is so much more goff dan u nd shez so much sexcier but shez datin drako so i cant date her but id ratha stay single dan be wit a posr lik u" sed dabolo onestly,, she startd 2 cri cleer teerz of normal eye wata den vumpire tok oot his womb n cast a spel on her, it changd her cloths, she was now werin a wite polo shit wit a pink bolero top nd lite blu denin minishotz nd litle pink shooz wit bowz on nd lite pink lipstik nd pink eyeshodo nd a pink bo in her hare, her hare was also blond now nd her nam changd 2 Willow Preppy Poser Bitch Lohan

"wow wat a prep, hey enoby, i wanna sho u somfin..." sed drako as he tok me furter in da forest, he tok me 2... da tree wer we had sexxx 4 da frist tim!111

"enoby..." he sed n den he kised me, we frenched passively nd he tok of his cloths nd poshed me up agenst da tree, he tok of my shit nd evan tok of my bra! den he put his boy thinginie in2 my u-kno-wat nd we had sexxx 4 da bajillionth tim! but it waz da frist tim agenst dis tree in dis dimenson

"oh DRAKO DRAKO!" i shrecked beginin 2 get an orgasim den...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" sed dumblydore

"oh fuk nut agen..." sed drako, tha sond of dumblydore voise had kiled his bonner, dumblydore made us get dresed n go bak 2 da camp

"you ludacris fools! y iz da forbiden forest so sexualy intising 2 u?" he shootd

"dunno, itz just all drak n spoky n goffik n hot,," i sed unfased by dis coz weve ben cort lik tousandz of tims be4,, but den we herd somfin strange... sexxx niosez? comin form 1 of da tentz?

den,,,,, duumblydore oppaned da tent nd inside waz... ...dabolo adn ron! havin sexxxx!11111111

we all gosped!


	15. Vampires Will Never Hurt You

AN: hahaha raven ur a prep now in da storuuu !111111 lulz if u dont gif me bak muh amy lee pster den itll get worse,, lik sriosly worse ok? hahahahahah lolz tim 4 da next prat!

we all gut up urly in da mornin so it will stil be drak wile we frist startd r jurney,, willOW LOHAN didnt lik it becoz shez a FUKIN PREP AND IF SHE CARYZ ON LIKE DIS DEN SHELL PROBABLY DYYYYYYY!1111 me nd drako wanked hand in hand nd willow cryed coz she hhad lost her bf n hed ratha b wit a prepy cristina dan her (HAHAHAHAH SUK IT!) we had left a forbiden forst n wee wer now heddin norse in the dircton of ireland which is north of england (i no dat coz i haf ben 2 england nd stuff and also soz i love british colture wit da tea nd da sexxy acsents)

den afta agez of wanking wich actaly went bi fast coz i waz wit drako nd my bffz blody maru and vumpire, but it actuly went bi very SLOW 4 RAVEN COZ SHEZ ALL ALONE COZ NOONE WANTS 2 B WIT A BICH LIKE HER!11111 she waz stil all cryin n shit, she had bin cryin 4 lik dis 4 5 hourz so vumpire shot her thousandz of tims wit his AK 47 nd she dyed coz shez nut a vanpire anymoar, den snap ate her body coz hez a fukin wierdo

"wow im so glad dat bich is gon" sed blody maru

"yeh, she waz so UGLY n PREPY n STOPID nd SHE HAD A SEKRET CRUSH ON DA BAKSTRET BOIZ!11111"

"Oh my goodness, I can't believe you just killed her..." sed ron, he loked sacred

"It's okay Ron, we can get past this, just stay strong and the Lord will guide you." sed harry as he gaf rom sum oatmeel nd ron cryed into it

"Harry, I'm scared, what if they try and kill us too?" sed herminie

"It's okay..." sed harry as he pot his arm arond her "I'll protect you..."

"omfg just fuk nd get if ova wit!" sed enoby nd tha pear just loked at dem in shok

"cum on u dunderheads, da portel iz nut far form her! letz get dere qwikly!" sed dumblydore

"But sir! One of your students has just been murdered! Don't you care?" sed harry

"nah i onestly dont gif a fuk" he sed

and wif dat, dey caryed on tha jurney wtoot raven coz she is a bich nd dey never needed her coz shez so stupid nd lame nd PREPPY!1111111 afetr almust half an hour, dey arrivd at da portel it was a blak prtal wich waz ebony blak wit purpel streekz in it nd red at da edgez, it also had icey blu sparkz in it lik limpid teerz,, it waz such a goffik portel nd it mad us so exited to entar it... den we all jumpd inside!1111111


	16. Planetary (Go!)

AN: HAHHAHAH SUK IT RAVEN UR NUT IN DA STORUUUU ANYMOAR!1111111111 also all ma reel goffz who reed ma storu r soooo glad ur gon, iznt dat soo rite? leef a reviow sayin how hapy u r dat raven isz gon!

so we went thru da goff portel wich waz relly grate coz it waz a goff portel,, it mad us feel so depresed wich waz fun,, den at da otter end ov da portel we fell on a rode, in a stret in longdon! in da cannon universe!11 we loked aroung, we wer in fornt of a dorr nd we gessed it waz da door dat ref dumblydore waz talkin aboot, it waz a blak door wich mad me verry hapy nd it had da number 10 ritten on it wich also mad me hapy coz:

10=6+4 - we keep da 6

4+10=14

14/2=7 dat makez 2 7s

2/2=1 dat makez 2 1s

7-1=6

7-1=6

so dat makez 666 wich iz enobyz fav numba

we went in2 da goffik hoose nd dere waz da guy standin dere!1111111

"Hello," he sed "My name is David Cameron, welcome to the Canon Universe!"

"r u da guy whoz gonna halp us? find da prep gung?" axed enoby

"That's right! But maybe we should just start tomorrow, it's getting late and you've been on a very long journey, there are spare bedrooms upstairs." he sed

den all da gang went up da stares nd fond dere roms,, enoby and drako went in 1 2getha coz **wogglez eybros* wen dey wer alon drako nd enoby frenched possivetively,, dey wer so hot 2getha,, enoby wez werin a blak corset wit rad lase wit blak ringz wit stanic symbolz on ddem also a sanic neklase she also haz a tatoo now becoz of goffik magik, itz on her thiy nd itz a blody gofik hart wit rosez arond it and on da hart it sayz ""life iz pan" on it,, nd u can c it coz my minishit is relly short ,, itz blak 2 (supirze suprize) nd im werin blak kombat bootz also my fase loks relly goff 2 coz im werin wite fondation wit blak eyelina lik LOTZ OF IT nd blak lipstik nd red eyshodow also im werin red fishnets on muh armz nd i lok so sexxy nd drako finkz so 2,,,,, we frenckk posively nd he takz of are cloths nd we hahf da SEXXXES!111111111111

"omfg drko ur so gud at sexx" i say as i hfa an orgasim nd den we bof fall aslepp,,


	17. Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us

AN: lulz soz!11 i had mojur riturz blok but fangz 4 stikin wit da storuuu i prolis i will finnish it!111 (also itz gon get relly god OK!11111 so fuk U PREPZ!

arite so afta da gang gut up day went downstares 2 find davud,,

"hey enoby" sed blody maru "did u no dat davud cumeron iz da presidnet of englund in dis univers!?"

"wat no way!111" sed enoby loking sexily shoked

"Is he not the Prime Minister in your universe?" sed ron who waz holdin handz wit dabolo

"pfffftf no! of corse nut!1 in da reel univers as in ARE univres Werewolf iz, hez suck a sexxay goff"

"Who's Werewolf ?" sed harry, nut recevin an anser coz hez 2 prepy 4 an anser

but im gon tel u coz i bet u (da reeda) want da bakstoru of ma amazin storu:

so da storu of werewolf startz wit 2 broterz, nd dey bof wantd 2 b leederz of da most goffik politikal partu in england, labor. dey had a goff batle,, but dere can onlu b 1 leeder so dey had 2 battel,, dere birt namz wer davud nd ed milibund nd dey wer orfanz coz dere parentz wer raped bi tortoises den shot bi volsemort (da tortoses belongd 2 volsemort nd he orderd da rap) afta dat dey becam goff coz dey wer so deprezzed nd dey changd der namz 2 beelzebub nd werewolf miliband (davud iz beelzebub nd ed is werewolf) anywayz dey bof wanted 2 be leeder of da labor partu nd dere can onlu b 1 so dey had a fite 2 da DEFF!1111 nd werewolf won coz hez da sexist bi-est goff nd den he became da president of england

"Oh hello, did you all have a nice sleep?" davud axed

"Yes we did Mr Cameron! Thank you very much!" sed tha prpy shitfase hary

"HOLY FUKIN SHIT DIS PLASE IZ SOOOOOOO PREPY! WEREZ ALL DA BLAK NAD TORTUR STUF?" enoby scremmed

"Umm, we don't necessarily like to torture people here..." he sed "But come here, I want to show you something." he sed

"UGGGGGGHHHH fiiiiiiiiiiiine!11111" i moned n we al follod him in2... A SUPA SEXXAY GOFFF ROM!1111 dere was blak nd red evrywher nd a big shelf fild wit cdz of goffik bandz nd lodz of oder romz joind 2 it wit wer bedromz (lulz 4 da sexxaytimz wit drako ;);););););)

"Stay in here as long as you want, I'll just be in my office." he sed as he clozed da dor nd left us in da owsom goffik rom


	18. The Kids from Yesterday

AN: omfg FUK OF PERPZ1111111111 dis al maks sense just wate!11111111111 nd fangz 4 da suppot da prepz r bein relly men 2 me :(::(:(:(:(:(:( ALSO FUK U WILLO I NO IT WAZ U WHO MAD DAT RUMA ABOOT ME ND DAT PREPY DOOSHBAG KEVIN FUK UUUUUUUU 2 A FUCKIN MILEY CYRUS CONCET111111111111111111111111111111111111111

omfg we were lik so ahppy 2 be in da goff room it waz amazin me nd drako had sexxaytimz lik 27 timz in da bedroms huly satan nd we lissend 2 maralyn manson und gren day lik omfg also me nd blody maru did sum goff dancin it was like tha besst

"Umm, friends?" sed stopid prepy hairy

"wat?11" i sed, i had had enof ov his bullshit he was such a fukin cristina prep

"Should we get on with the, you know, the mission?" he sed

"wat mission?" i sed

"Oh my..." he fackpalmd, "The mission to defeat the Prep Gang, have you forgotton about it or something?"

"NO!" belowd a deep tory voise, "They have not forgotten about the mission, they are trapped in this state, they cannot do anything else, all because of this shitty author"

"What?" sed herminy who had srtated 2 lissen 2 davud 2; run didnt coz he waz in dabolo

"This shitty author has not updated the story for months, which is really unprofessional and shitty. He has been doing schoolwork, he's started learning German and he's decided to watch every single episode of Friends from the beginning and in German. He doesn't understand shit but he still loves it because he's a fucking weirdo. Well what do you expect, he's writing a crossover fanfiction of two other fanfictions. So, yeah, the author is shit and that's why the story isn't going anywhere. For all we know, the next "chapter" might just be another fucking annoying essay on IKEA or Angry Birds in French."

"Wow..." sed herminie

"So we're trapped here forever?" sed hery

"Until the author finally gets his head out of his arse, yes.

If not, you are stuck here for eternity."


	19. Oh My Fucking God It Always Comes Down To Ikea

AN: alrite so i cant get raven to wirt dis essay so im gettin da milkman 2 do it his namez jon and hez a hot bi guy okay her it is:::

IKEA is a multinational (that means it's in lots of different countries) group of companies that designs and sells ready-to-assemble shit like furniture and appliances. They take fucking forever to make and none of it's gothic so I couldn't really give a shit.

As of January 2008, it is the world's largest furniture shop, like good for them, I bet they're raking it in, with an IKEA rake of course.

It was founded in Sweden, a country full of sexy gothic bi-guys, in 1943 by then-17-year-old Ingvar Kamprad, the sexiest of the Swedish gothic bi-guys who was also a Vampire and who was listed as one of the world's richest people in 2013, so yeah he's rich and shit too.

The company's name is an acronym (a thing that takes the first letters of a bunch of words and makes it into a new word, I don't fucking know, acronyms are stupid) that consists of the initials of Ingvar Kamprad, Elmtaryd (the sexy gothic farm where he grew up), and Agunnaryd (his hometown in Småland, south Sweden).

The company is known for its preppy architectural designs for various types of appliances and furniture and shit, and its interior design work is often associated with an eco-friendly simplicity and preppyness. In addition, the firm is known for its attention to cost control, operational details, and continuous product development, corporate attributes that allowed IKEA to lower its prices by an average of two to three percent over the decade to 2010 during a period of global expansion, like seriously they are so good to the environment and to our wallets.

But the most controversial thing about IKEA is that despite the founder being a sexy goth bi-guy, all of the shit it sells it preppy as fuck. This is because IKEA has been taken over by preps. Ingvar wanted to sell gothic furniture but the Prep Gang infiltrated the Canon Universe and took it over. IKEA is the most powerful and most influential company in the world. IKEA's influence surpasses that of any other. Even the most powerful of world leaders and political organisations. If you own IKEA, you own the world. The Prep Gang owns IKEA. That is how they're planning to destroy the Canon Universe and thus, our universes.

Ingvar's place has been taken by the leader of the Prep Gang. The Prep Gang have been making preppy furniture in his name for years. They even used IKEA's influence to change the final edit of the Bible. They wrote the homophobic part of it. They didn't just stop there though. They plagued all sorts of other texts and modern media with homophobia and even transphobia. They generated a hate towards anyone who isn't heterosexual or cisgendered.

It's this hate which is causing a huge absence of love in the Canon Universe. Love is the only thing that keeps us going as human beings. No matter who it's towards. The love that was supposed to exist between families, friends and partners, is just not there. And it will destroy this whole universe unless we don't fix it.


	20. John the Milkman

 

AN: holu fukin shit jon dat waz tha prepiest thing i have eva seen!

John: No, you just made the shittiest essay on IKEA that I've ever seen so I changed the end of it so you'd get on with your damn story and stop procrastinating!

AN: woa WOA THERE DAT WAZ NUT COOL i am bustin my ladyballs to mak dis amazin fanfiction nd it haznt been eazy ive had major riterz blok, my bff haz bin a bich 2 me and now u jon?

John: It's John, with a "H" for fucks sakes. And I'm not a sexy gothic bi guy, well I wouldn't disagree with sexy though...

AN: dud if i say your bi your bi, respect my authoritah!

John: No, I'm ace, now drop it please, there are much more important things to talk about.

AN: like wut?

John: Like your story!

AN: wut aboot my storu?

John: How are you going to finish it?

AN: i dont fuking no, enoby nd da goffz kill da prep gung nd save da univeres or sum shit?

John: You don't even know how you're going to end this piece of shit?

AN: WELL IM NUT GUNNA SPOIL IT DUH

John: So you do know.

AN: yea sure why nut

John: Can you please finish it then?

AN: but i havent made my french angry birds essay!

John: No! Get on with the story!

AN: ANGRY BURDz !11 can u halp me 2?

John: I can't speak French.

AN: oh my fukin satan whut kind of milkman are u?

John: I'm not a milkman anymore! They fired me because I haven't come into work for a week! Because you kidnapped me!

AN: yea yea i didnt ask for ur life storu, so...

John: So... what?

AN: im gonna continu it

John: Good.

AN: ok fuk off ur fired

John: Thank goodness! Freedom!

*jon runs tha fuk away nd we neva c him agen*


	21. Bring Me To Life

AN: arite lets get dis shit underway!!!!1111111111111111111 id lik 2fang muh goffik fanz nd jon 4 halpin me so much nd also RAVAN WHO IZ BAK SAY HI RAVEN

Raven: heyyyyyy~~~~~~~  
AN: ok lets goooo  
"holu shit" sed enoby  
""wut babe???" sed drako who waz all naked coz dey had sexxx and stuff just befor lul

"i no how to defeet da prep gung........"

"no way!!!11111111111" sed willo coz she waz lissenin 2 us coz were exibitionissts nd lik it wen peeps wach dont kinkshame me bitch

"ikea"

"ikea??"

"ikea"

"shold we go to ikea?? how do you no??" sed drako all shoked nd sexxaayyy

"we haf 2 go 2 ikea dey r der nd i no becoz of forth wall bullshit nd shitty writing dat transends all human understanding"

"wich ikea, there are tons all ova da world!" sed wollo

"da 1 in clermont ferrand" i sed supa positiv

"were da fuk is dat?" sed boldy maru

"i have no fukin idea" i sed

"lets ask davud camerborne!"

so we all left da goffik room, all of us, even da cristinaz nd we went 2 davidz offise 'we openeded da door usin da halpful instrutiones form da chapta wit da dorr openin intrucions i cant fukin remeber wut chapta it is ffs dis storu iz so long r u still even ere?

"Yes?" sed daidv

"were da fuk is clermont ferrand?????" i axed

"Ah yes! Clermont Ferrand! Beautiful city!"

"tell us were it iz!!!!"   
"No."

we all gosped!!!11111111 how cold he?????? he was getin in da way of our misiion and our savin of da univeress und stuff!!!

"wat do u meen????"

"No! Hahahahahaha!!!! You must stay here and suffer in the... PREP ROOM! *dun dun duuuun*"

he pointed 2 a door nd it opnd mogikly 2 reveel a shitty pink preppy room wit katy perry playin in it!!!!11111111111111111 KATY FUKIN PERRY

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" we (all da goffz) sed

"Yes! You will all be locked in here and you'll never save the universes! Mouhahahahah!!!!"

evrry1 was cryin especially ron who had bringed sum oatmeel wit him 2 kri in he waz makin it so moist wit his tearz of sadness nd shit,, butt! enoby was very clever and she new lotz of shit aboot uk poltiks

"hey david!" i sed

"What?" he sed

"What if we give you a pig?"

"Hmm? Dead?"

"Alive."

"Sweet, even better. Clermont Ferrand is in Auvergne, France. Where my pig?"

"here" i gave him da pig coz i have magikz nd can mak pigs apear for reasonz of BLAH den we all left 2 go to clermont ferrand.............


	22. Goff Milez

AN: FUKK UUUUUU PRRPZ111 STUPPP FLMAIN111 @ muh goff reederz: heyyyyy guyz dis iz gonna get reel gud ok ;D MCR FUKIN ROX!

drako gut oot hiz magik wand (lulz no nut DAT 1 ;););););) dat 1 iz 4 me u no whut if u get whut i meen ;););););););;)

he had da mogikz happen und his blak flyin mersadeez benz appeerd,,, i smiled deprezzinly as i remebured dat nite we had in it doin sexz on eachotter, doin manu sexz, so hot nd sticky

we den all flu 2 frunce, wich iz a cuntry just wast of england , we flu ova many other cuntys lik peru adn letvia and asia nd finaly we landeded in franse

"yay" all da goffs shooted deprzzingly

"Oh boy! I'm so excited!" sed fukin harry

"Oh yes Harry! So am I! sed preppy fukin herminny

"SHAT DA FAK AP!!!!!!!!!!" i sed coz dey wer fukkin annoyin prepz nd day wer ruinin muh perfekly deprzzin day..

so we wer in franz but we coodnt fin da ikea enoby deside d 2 axe dummblydore becz he iz foll of wisdom nd shit

"oi dumblydorz wer iz da fukin ikea???? i sed all hot nd sexy", dumblydoor almost gut a boner coz i was so seksy but he didnt u perv becoz dat shits illegal af ffs

"wat ebojy?" he sed all wise und sheise (lulz i can speek german 2, luk at meh wit muh langwag skillz), "oh yea itz fukin souf ov her, lik, *he paused 2 chek da wind* aboot 20 goff milez ( i cant x plain whut a goff mile iz becoz onlu tru goffz can udderstand dem hahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhahha(dat waz deprzzed laffin btw)

so we all gut in da car agen und went 20 goff milez souf

just so you kno (nd fukin appreshitate dis becoz im givin u all PRICELESS infomratin on the sience of GOFF MILEZ):

(dis maybe hard 4 prep mindz 2 grasp)

a goff mile is a unit of mesure wich decribez a distanse

gut it?

but it doent compar to prep milez or "normal milez" becoz milez FUKIN SUCK lik itz da stupidest form of mesur

no, dere r onlu 2 GUD mesurs:

\- da GOFF MIL

\- und da km

a goff mil is ((1km/2+1/3km)*5)/9+1/3km

1000 goff pointz 2 any1 who can comment wit da distance ov dere journey in km

 


	23. Hermione Dies

AN: alrite biches were gettin closer 2 da END!!!!1111 r u as exited as i am???

da jorney in drakoz mercadeez was fukin annoyin, da cristinas kept singin c u r c h sungs nd UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH IT WAS SOOOO FAKIN ANNOYINNNN!!!!! (AN: COMMENT IF U FUKIN H8 THOSE C R I S T I N A SONGZ)

"OI11 SHAT DA FAK AP1111" i skremmed nd dey all stoppd, i den put on mcr nd me, drako (he had a boner becoz im so hot btw), vampir, blody maru nd willow ROCKED DA FAK OOT to it

da song dat waz playin was teenagers und it waz sooooooo gut:

DEy sed all teenagerz skare da livin shit outta me

deycant care less as long as some1 wull bleed

So draken ur cloths or strike a violant poze

Maybe theyll leeve u alone but NAT ME!!!!

(i dont own dose lyrikz)

but da prepy cristinaz didn lik da song

"Harry! I'm so scared! That music is so sinfull!" herminy ssed

"well yea duh," sed willo "were sinful AF!!!11111"

"Miss Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, please can you turn this down?" she sed

"WATTT???" i waz sooooo shoked HOW DARE SHE INSALT MCR!!!11111 (AN: omfg dont u all get mad 2 wen peple insult mcr like fuk dose peple ugghgghhghghgh)

"I mean just a little bit, it's very loud..."

"FAK UUUUUUUU DONT INSULOT MCRRRRRRRR"

i den gut oot my ak666 und SHOT HER LATS OF TIMEZ!!!! she died so much nd fell oot the mercadeez

"Hermione! No!!" skremmed hary he then startd 2 cri "Ron has been converted to their godless way of life and now my dear sweet Hermione is gone! Oh Lord! Why must you make me suffer this way? I have to be strong... I have to be... But... I never got to tell her that I love her..."

"omfg shat ap" sed vampir "we ALL loze da peeple we luv..." he sed (AN: hez talkin aboot me coz he waz in luv wit me but im WIT SEXXXAAAY DRAKO ;D;D;D;D;D))

den hary nd ampir loked eyez (dis iz a rOMANTIC moment111) dey gut clozer 2 each otr und KISSD!!!! :o

 


	24. The Prep Gang

AN: heyyyyyy dere goffFFFFZZZ!!!! imma do a marafon 2nite ov dis fanfic, IF DA PERPS SAY AWAY it mite b finishd!!! tnx MCR ROK

were gonna skip da rest of a jorney bekoz nut much happend, we lissned 2 mcr, i mad oot wit drako, hary mad out wit vampir, diabool mad out with run, snap tried 2 make out wit hargrid but hargrid dint wanna, den he tried wit dumblydoe nd gut rejeckted AGAEN!!!11!!! (wat a fukin loser AMIRITE??????)

we den gut 2 ikea nd we ran ot ov da car SHIT IZ GETTIN SERIOUS!1111111

CAN U FEEL DA ADRENALINS????????????

R U PUMPED??????????

we went thro da turney door thing, snap gut confused nd forgt 2 cum out nd into the ikea, we left him turning arond nd arond in the turney door thing becuz we haf nut a lot of tim B4 DA END OF DA UNIVREES!!111

we ran nd ran thro the ikea, nd lost manu gud soldiers alung da way......................................

hargrid had 2 stup nd sit down in da sofa area

run nd dabolo stupped 2 make out on da beds

hary took vampir 2 da kichen section (lel dunno wat 4 ;););););););););););

willo nd blody maru had to stup at da resstaurant 2 get meatballs™

den we gut 2 da center of da ikea... DA LIGHTING EREA (Which shows a wide rage of stylish and practical fittings to light up your homes. Everything from floor-lamps, to cieling-lights, to wall-lamps, to table lamps... Plus, with the wonderful energy-efficient LED lighting you can have a brighter, cheaper, and friendlier home.)

the onlu onez of us left wer me nd dumblydore,, we stod in da silent rom nd wated...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"ahahahahahahhaahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhazhahahahahahhah aha hha hahahahhazahzaajajahhaajajahhajajsjserfezihhuezruezrruzruzfuhuizhfiyrueifhutghrfgrtfhjiotuhjbionnoooooooooooooooooooooooooohahahahhah"

"that laff... it waz so... prepy!!11111" i sed

"omfg yas enoby, wat cold it b?????" sed dumblydore

" dere were manu of dem makin it... it must haf ben.................................

DA PREP GANG!" i revelld wit my inteligenes

"Well guessed Ebony" sed 1 of da voisez

"oi its enoby u posr bitch!!!! SHOW URSELF1111111111111" i sed

den out of da shadowz emergd 5 of da preppist perpz i had evr lad my eyez on...........

DA SPICE GIRLZ

 


	25. The Prep Gang's Hostage

AN: isn't dis gettin exitin!!11111111 dere iz gonna b mor aktion in da next perts ENJOY GOFFZ!!11111111111 (nut da prepz lul)

prepy ass geri hallliwell satred, "Well, well, well, we're surprised you got this far Miss Way-"

"ENOBY DARKNESS DIMENTA RAVEN WAY say muh full name you BITCH111" i skremmd

"Shut the fuck up, let me speak-"

"NOOO FUK U, dis is MY fanfic, i do what the fuk i want" i sed

"u tell em sis" sed dumblydor

"Ebo- I mean Enoby, it's in your best interests to listen to us..." sed mel b

"hahaahhahahahh dont mak me LAFF i hav succ powerful DARK MAGIKZ nd im nut afraid 2 use dem!! imma kill all u, den ur leadr den ur leadrz leeder nd den save da bi guize bi modyfyin the b-b-b-l-e or sum shit (AN: dats da storu rite????)

"Oh really? Because if you so much as dare to come closer then your little Draco gets it!" da FUKKIN PREPPY POSR BICHES partd nd dere was my love! druko! he was tied up nd gaggd (dat kind of turnd me on but did iz nut da moment 4 u-kno-whut *winkz*,, he lokd so deprezzd but nut gud deprezzed lik goffik people, lik da kind of deprezzed WHEN MCR FUKIN SPLIT OH MY FUKKKKIN GOD IT STILL HURTZ he waz cryin tearz of blod nd it made me cry tearz of blud.. i dint kno whut 2 do,, i didnt wanna let him die i love him so much why is life so much pain??????????????????????????????????????

"So Enoby, you either leave us to our business and Draco lives, or you try and stop us and he dies. What do you choose?" sed da ginger one

i was so deprzzd nd had no idea what 2 do,, i had 2 save drako but i have 2 save da bi guyz 2

drako or bi guyz.......... drunko or bi guize.........darko or bye guys

den!!!! enoby remeberd somethin v v important!!!111111

"YAAAASSS!!!" she sed in her thoughtz " i am da maru su!! i can do whut da fuk i want!11"

"i haf decided..." i sed out lood,, da spice grills waitd 4 me 2 act, dere was tension can you FELL IT???

enoby blitzed her goffik chakraz 2 da MAX nd drako teleproted next 2 her, den she gut out her wand nd BLEW DEM UP den there leader came in runnin nad enoby BELW HER DA FUK UP b4 we cold kno whut random celebrity she waz

now...... it was time 2 find nd destro da LEADR OF DA LEADER OF DA PREP GAND nd SAVE DA BI GUYZ

 


	26. The Leader of the Leader of the Prep Gang

AN: OH MI SATAN dis is gonne b soooooooooo gud!!!!!11 im exited af nd lisenin 2 mcr wile i do dis maraton 2morro imma celebrat da end ov da my immoral sequel by goin 2 hot topic k thanx 4 readin goffz!!!11111

i untyd nd un gaggd drako my luv nd we all went 2 find da leadr of da leader of da prep gung,, he fond a door dat sed "leeader of da leadr of da perp gang" on it

"hmmm guyz let me fink....... imma use mi intelligens now,,, i deduce wit my brain power dat de leadr of da leadr of da prep gand is in her!" i sed, dracko gut a bonr coz he findz clever grills sexxay

now we only had 2 open the door... i reechd out my sexy hand, gruspd da nob wit it,, nd tornd it.............. da door opened!

"helo, bff" sed.......... willo!! we all gospd, why waz she her? she coldnt b behind all dis!!!1111111

"willo wtf!!111" i skremmd in deprzzin anguish

"yes enoby, i am the tru leedr of da leader of da prep gand, it is i who made erry1 homophon!!" she sed

"but... i fought u lobd bu guize!!" i sed

"dat waz all a lie, i new form da profecy dat u nd ur bf wold destry da homophone univres i haf creatd... so i went 2 ur univres nd pretendd 2 b goff nd pretened 2 fink dat bi guiz wer hot, but enoby......... I DONT FINK DEY R HOT HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH" i waz so shoked dat i startedde 2 cry tarz of blood, drako 2 coz he iz a bi guy nd it hurt hiz feelingz, (dumblydore crid 2 coz hez bi 2) "yes enoby, i'm homophone af, nd i bekame ur frend so dat i cold stup u form changing my bibel"

"OH YAH?????? FUK U WILLO I TRUSTD U!!" i skremmd nd we drew our swordz

da sword fite was so epik, slashin nd stabbin, we wer ekually matchd but i waz bettr, i swang und cut her sholder, she skremmd nd cluchd it, prepz dont lik blod so she startd 2 cry pale tearz,, i was so deprezzd seein her... she waz my bbf..... nd she brtrayd me.. i dint wanna kill her but i had no choice....... i decaptatd her wit 1 swipe nd statd 2 cry blod red tearz.............................

drako cam up 2 me nd held me in hiz sexxxay armz "itz ok enoby, u had 2 do it, she waz evil n shit,, now we cun rewrite da b-b-i-l-e nd save da univres form homophonia...."

i clered my terz, nd pikd up da massiv bok on willoz desk,

"letz rerite dis bitch" i sed

 


	27. The End?

AN: dis iz it!!11111 dis is da end of ma sequel!!11111 i wanna gif fangz 2 all ma goff readrz who stuk wit me nd supportd me,, i luv u all nd i hope dat we can all go 2 an amy lee concert 2getha nd rok out or sum shit,,, LUV U ALLLL!1111111111

AN: i also wanna say FUK U 2 all da prepz who didnt beleve in me, who sed dat muh storu iz shit, or dat i cant spell, or dat i'd neva finish dis.......... FUK U FLAMERZ!!11111111

da 10 comandmentz of enoby draknezz dimentia ravan way:

1- u hav 2 lok up 2 ME as a GOD!! nd giv me goffik offeringz lik hot topic clothz nd mak up nd shit

2- erry1 haz 2 be bi nd sexy!!! all non-biz haf 2 be killd nd all non-sexxxayz haf 2 be killd

3- prepz r all 2 be put 2 deff, ALL OF DEM

4- if ur stupid parentz dont let u go to a concert den ur aloud 2 murder dem

5- u can onlu lissn 2 goffik musik

6- u can onlu ware goffik clothz nd drak make up wit wite fondation

7- ery1 shal bekom a vampir, all peple who dont wanna be vampirz will be executd

8- stanism iz da obligarty religion,, nd i am da god of da religion,, (sum say itz sataan but i haf mad him adopt me nd abdicate so since i am the heir i am now QUEEN OF HELL BICHES)

9- my storuz my immortal nd my immortal da sequel shall b taut in skoolz, erry citizen shold b able 2 recite dem bi hart

10- dere iz a new day ov da week calld goff day (its replacing thurzday because fuk thrurzdat) nd itz da ONLU DAY OF WORK, all of da otter dayz u hav 2 work 4 me to give me shit nd mak me happy

so enoby took her plase on da thron of da canon univres, she tornd earf in2 a goffik paradis (earf iz now remened goff land) afta da genocid of da non-biz, da uglyz nd doze who dint wanna b vampirz, da whol human rase gut 2 work 4 her, erry penny dey ernd in da from of clothz, muzik, mak up, nd so much mor goffik stuff. she bekam rich af nd nobody cold stup her

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was thought that nobody survived the genocide, that the whole population was now in control, but one man emerged from the shadows. He'd lost the job he loved due to Enoby's bullshit, and he wasn't going to forgive her so easily.

 


End file.
